What To Write: Funny Birthday Messages

Funny happy birthday messages are a great way to acknowledge an occasion and send a smile. It sounds simple, but when it gets right down to what to write in a funny birthday card, the pressure can be on! But no worries — this isn’t our first time around the block, and soon you’ll have a bigger bag of tricks when it comes to wishing that special person in your life a happy birthday!

Obviously, humor is subjective, and what you write will depend on whether you’re sending it to your kids/friends/coworkers/church associates, so keep this in mind. Being funny is hard enough. Being funny on a short deadline and competing with the funny birthday sayings already in the cards can also be tough. So we’re here to help. Just for you, here’s a list of funny things to write in a birthday card.

Be Philosophical.

Giving a little homespun advice can really add a laugh to the funny happy birthday messages already on the cards you send.

With age comes wisdom. And you should be wise enough to know that you’ll always be [13 MONTHS] older than me!
Don’t think of it as getting older. Think of it as a day in which you can eat as much cake you like, and no one will judge.
Getting old is tough, but it sure beats the alternative!

Poke Fun.

Happy birthday to someone who is totally hot. Maybe you should blow out all those candles!
Happy Birthday, old friend!
Happy 29th Birthday! (only if they are much older than that)
You’re halfway to _______! Congrats! (Take the recipient’s age and double it, so a card to someone turning 54 would read, You’re halfway to 108! Congrats!)

Pat Yourself On The Back.

You deserve the very best of everything. I guess that’s why you have me as a [son/friend/sister/coworker].
You look younger every year. P.S. Feel free to tell me that on my birthday, too!

Include An Inside Joke.

It makes your thoughtful message mean even more that you included a first-hand, personal memory. Obviously, the example I’ve inserted is just a placeholder to suggest you scroll through your own memory bank for a specific personal memory that will put a smile on the face of the person you care about.

Hope your birthday is more fun than [THAT TIME WE DROVE OUT TO AMISH COUNTRY AND GOT LOST FOR 4 HOURS]!
Hope your day is even sweeter than [YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER RACHEL’S SMILES AND YOUR SISTER SUSIE’S CASSATA CAKE…IF THAT’S EVEN POSSIBLE]!
Have fun, but don’t [PARTY SO HARD YOU DRIVE YOUR RIDING MOWER DOWNTOWN LIKE YOUR BROTHER DID LAST YEAR]!

If you’ll notice, all I’m really doing for you is reminding you of what you already know — what you and the person you’re sending it to have shared, and what you value and connect over. It’s what you put there that’s going to end up putting a smile on their face. You’ve got this!

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Brian P. Cleary is a senior writer-editor in the digital division of American Greetings. He started his life in greeting cards 35 years ago, and has written in verse and prose ranging from a prayer to a pun. He is also an author of 53 children’s books, selling more than 3 million copies.