What To Write: Funny Birthday Wishes and Messages

Funny birthday messages are a great way to acknowledge an occasion and send a smile. It sounds simple, but when it gets right down to what to write in a funny birthday card, the pressure can be on! But no worries — this isn’t our first time around the block, and soon you’ll have a bigger bag of tricks when it comes to wishing that special person in your life a happy birthday!

Obviously, humor is subjective, and what you write will depend on whether you’re sending it to your kids, friends, co-workers or church associates, so keep this in mind. Being funny is hard enough. Being funny on a short deadline and competing with the funny birthday sayings already in the cards can also be tough, so we’re here to help. Just for you, here’s a list of funny things to say in a birthday card.

Jump to:

Philosophical Humor
Age Humor
Inside Jokes
Belated Birthday
Funny Quotes
For Friends
For Him
For Her

Short and Funny Birthday Wishes

Sometimes the best birthday greetings are short, sweet and guaranteed to make someone smile. A quick one-liner can be just as meaningful (and memorable!) as a long message. These hilarious birthday messages are perfect when you want to keep it simple but still deliver a laugh.

Hope your birthday’s as awesome as you are.
Cake. Candles. Chaos. Repeat next year!
Another year wiser? Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.
Happy birthday! Treat yo’ self!
Smile — it’s your excuse to eat cake for breakfast.
Happy birthday! Make a wish (or [insert age]).
You’re not an oldie — you’re a goodie.
Here’s to another year of amazing memories (and questionable decisions).

Hilarious Philosophical Birthday Wishes

Giving a little homespun advice can really add a laugh to the funny happy birthday messages already on the cards you send.

With age comes wisdom. And you should be wise enough to know that you’ll always be [13 MONTHS] older than me!
Don’t think of it as getting older. Think of it as a day in which you can eat as much cake you like, and no one will judge.
Getting old is tough, but it sure beats the alternative!
Age doesn’t define you … but it does explain why you forget things.
You can’t turn back time, but you can still lie about your age.
Remember, you’re not getting older, you’re just accumulating character (and maybe a few aches).
Every birthday is a reminder that growing up is optional — but growing older isn’t.
You’ve hit that sweet spot between “young enough to have fun” and “old enough to know better.”

Funny Birthday Messages That Poke Fun At Getting Older

Aging is inevitable — but laughing about it is a choice! When you want to make someone smile about another trip around the sun, silly birthday wishes that gently tease their age are the perfect way to do it. Keep it lighthearted, playful and full of fun — because birthdays are better with laughter (and maybe fewer candles).

Happy birthday to someone who is totally hot. Maybe you should blow out all those candles!
Happy Birthday, old friend!
Happy 29th Birthday! [Only if they are much older than that.]
You’re halfway to [_______]! Congrats! [Take the recipient’s age and double it, so a card to someone turning 54 would read, You’re halfway to 108! Congrats!]
Age is just a number … a really high one in your case.
You make getting older look less horrible!
Even though you’re [insert age], you’re still main-character energy.
You’re basically aging in reverse — like a fine Paul Rudd.
You don’t look a day over your favorite Instagram filter.
You’re not old — you’re just chronologically gifted.
Don’t worry about your age … the cake can handle it (probably).
Congrats on reaching the age when your back goes out more than you do!
You know you’re getting older when happy hour means a good nap.
At least you’re still younger than you’ll be next year!
Growing old is mandatory — but growing up? Still optional.

Clever Birthday Wishes That Pat Yourself On The Back

Getting older is easier when you can make it funny. These tongue-in-cheek birthday messages poke fun at yourself just as much as the birthday person — perfect for lightening the mood and getting a good laugh.

You deserve the very best of everything. I guess that’s why you have me as a [son/friend/sister/coworker].
You look younger every year. P.S. Feel free to tell me that on my birthday, too!
You’re so lucky to have someone as thoughtful as me remembering your birthday.
Happy birthday! Don’t worry, I’ll help you eat all the cake — because that’s the kind of friend I am.
Happy birthday to someone who clearly has excellent taste in friends.
Congrats on surviving another trip around the sun — with me cheering you on, obviously.
You’re lucky I remembered your birthday. I can barely remember what day it is.
Happy Birthday! I was going to post a heartfelt tribute on social, but then I remembered I’m mysterious.

Hilarious Birthday Messages That Include An Inside Joke

It makes your thoughtful message mean even more that you included a first-hand, personal memory. Obviously, the example we've inserted is just a placeholder to suggest you scroll through your own memory bank for a specific personal memory that will put a smile on the face of the person you care about.

Hope your birthday is more fun than [that karaoke night we still don't talk about / that time we drove out to Amish Country and got lost for 4 hours]!
Hope your day is even sweeter than [your granddaughter Rachel's smiles and your sister Susie's cassata cake ... if that's even possible]!
Have fun, but don’t [party so hard you drive your riding lawn mower downtown like your brother did last year]!
May your birthday be filled with as much joy as [the time we found that random street festival and danced like no one was watching].
Here’s to another year of memories — hopefully fewer embarrassing ones than [that incident with the chocolate fountain].
Hope your celebration goes smoother than [that epic mistake on our favorite baking show].
Happy birthday! Let’s make new memories — preferably ones that don’t involve [a fire escape in San Francisco].
May your day be as legendary as [our inside joke that still cracks us up after all these years].

Witty Belated Birthday Wishes

Hey, life happens — calendars flip fast, and before you know it, the big day has come and gone. But sending a funny, heartfelt message (even a little late) still shows you care. These hilarious birthday messages will help you laugh off your tardiness and remind them that good wishes are always right on time — even when the card isn’t.

I know you got plenty of birthday love already — but who’s still thinking about you? This guy/gal.
Sorry I missed your big day! Let’s just say I was giving you time to recover from all the attention.
I can’t turn back time, but I can send great excuses. Hope it was an amazing birthday!
You’re so worth celebrating, I decided to extend the party — fashionably late, of course.
Happy slightly belated birthday! I like to think of this as a bonus round of good wishes.
Let’s pretend I’m early for next year’s birthday instead of late for this one.
Hope your birthday was unforgettable — unlike me and my timing!
Better late than never ... unless it’s cake. Then, always cake first.

Humorous Birthday Quotes

A clever line can make any card shine. Whether it’s sarcastic, ironic or just plain funny, these birthday card messages add the perfect wink to your wishes.

“Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.” ― Mark Twain
“The older you get the better you get. Unless you are a banana.” ― Betty White
“I don’t know if you know this about me, but I’m kind of a big deal.” — Taylor Swift
“If I’m gonna be a mess, I might as well be a hot mess.” — Mindy Kaling
“You’re never too old to do something ridiculous.” — Amy Poehler
“Don’t ever let anyone tell you you’re too old for glitter.” — Lizzo
“Birthdays are nature’s way of telling us to eat more cake.” — Jo Brand
“Growing old is mandatory, but growing up is optional.” — Walt Disney
“You can be the lead character at any age.” — Reese Witherspoon
“You are only young once, but you can stay immature indefinitely.” — Ogden Nash
“Looking fifty is great — if you’re sixty.” ― Joan Rivers
“Being older is cool — you just get more you.” — Billie Eilish
“You know you’ve aged when you read events you lived in a history book.” ― Will Ferrell

Silly Birthday Wishes For Friends

Funny birthday card messages bring the laughs — from silly sayings to inside jokes to pure, laugh-’til-you-snort joy.

Hope your birthday’s such a blast your smartwatch thinks you’re working out.
You’re living proof that growing up is optional — and we thank you for that.
Happy Birthday to my favorite weirdo — never change (or do, but only if it’s funnier).
You’re aging like fine espresso — bold, full of character and slightly addictive.
You’re the reason we can’t have nice things — but I still love you. Happy Birthday!
Hope your birthday’s less “to-do list” and more “watch list.”
Another lap around the sun? Slay.
Your vibe today: skincare, soft pants and saying “no” to everything stressful.

Funny Birthday Messages For Him

Whether he’s your dad, brother, husband or best buddy, the guys in your life deserve a good laugh on their special day. The best funny messages for birthday cards balance humor with a little heart — think jokes about aging, manly “wisdom” or their legendary status in your life. Here are some fun ways to wish him a happy birthday.

Happy birthday! You’re not old — just well-marinated.
Blow out your candles before the smoke alarm calls the fire department.
Hope your day’s filled with cold drinks, good laughs and absolutely no responsibilities.
You’re one year closer to knowing why dads make those weird noises when standing up.
You’re aging like a classic car — still running, just with a few more squeaks.
Happy birthday to the guy who still thinks he’s 25. (Don’t worry, we won’t tell your knees.)
Remember, you’re not getting older — you’re just adding to your legend.
It’s your day, man — put your feet up, grab a slice of cake and pretend you’re in charge!

Funny Birthday Messages For Her

She’s smart, strong and fabulous — and her birthday is the perfect time to make her laugh out loud. Whether she’s your mom, sister, wife or best friend, a little humor goes a long way toward making her feel special. These happy birthday wishes funny enough to brighten her day will show her you care — and that you know how to keep things light and fun.

Whether you’re the queen for a day or the diva for life, I hope you celebrate every minute in style!
Happy Birthday! Hope your day’s a binge-worthy celebration — snacks, lounging and zero spoilers.
You’re aging like a viral moment: unexpected, unforgettable and totally worth celebrating.
Another year older and still rocking it like you did in your twenties (but with better shoes).
Happy Birthday! May your serotonin stay high and your screen time low.
Here’s to another year of thriving, glowing and pretending to know what “clean eating” means.
Keep shining, birthday girl — just maybe not as bright as those candles!
If you remember when MTV played music videos, it’s time to stretch before blowing out the candles.
If you know what dial-up sounds like, you’ve earned a nap and a nice bottle of wine.
Happy Birthday, Queen! You’ve officially graduated from “people-pleasing” to “please-don’t-try-me.”

How Can I Send Funny Birthday Card Messages?

When finessing what to write in a funny birthday card, personalized is always better. Add your own message, inside joke or photo in just a few clicks with an American Greetings subscription. Our AI assistant can also help you create the perfect punchline. Then send your ecard instantly by text, email or social post. Start your free trial and make someone laugh out loud today.

Brought to You by the Writers of American Greetings

We are a team of writers and editors with decades of experience creating happiness, laughter and love for American Greetings. When we’re not writing greeting cards and other celebration content for the company, we are award-winning authors, bloggers, world travelers, singers, photographers, parents, grandparents and pet owners. Most of us live in Cleveland, Ohio, home to American Greetings Corporate Headquarters for over 100 years.